She Is Your Sister: A Lesson in Pruning and Growth

When God Refuses to Move You Until You Learn His Lessons

Once upon a time, I told God I didn’t want to be at this place of employment anymore and that I was ready for a new chapter. Did God say yes or no?

No.

Rewinding a few months prior, this job had been an answered prayer, a place of discernment, joy, and hard-fought victories. It was a season full of prayer, hope, and a kind of “honeymoon stage,” where every day felt like a step into what I had been asking God for.

And yet, rarely does He ever answer me with a simple yes or no. Instead, He addressed it in a way I wasn’t expecting.

He said, “She is your sister.”

Instantly, His reply sent a shock of reality through my soul that I wasn’t prepared for.

1. This isn’t the sister I wanted this close.

2. What the God the Father absolutely meant was this: I am not moving you until you figure out mercy, kindness, and forgiveness.

It felt like an agonizing six to eight months while God did what only He could do: to prune, grow, and humble me.

Let me tell you how badly I wanted that “sister,” who was also my boss, to be a thousand miles away from me.

Leaning on My Own Understanding

Here’s the funny part of it all. In my human condition, I leaned on my own understanding. And yet Proverbs 3:5–6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

Going back to number one, did I show up with cookies the next day? No. I absolutely avoided conversations with her. But as God had work to do, I couldn’t hide from Him or outrun Him. Every interaction that annoyed me came with a quiet, loving whisper meant to humble me and pull me into a heavenly perspective.

An Agonizing Interaction

Shortly after my first month as a new hire, impatience set in. I started complaining about training, how there wasn’t structure or process, how I felt lost in the commercial insurance space.

God, in His wisdom, provided someone—let’s call her A—who trained me early in the mornings from 7:30 to 8:30 a.m. for a few weeks. She was patient, thorough, and genuinely wanted me to succeed.

Did you think this sister/boss liked it? Absolutely not. She was territorial about who I was talking to, let alone someone going outside her for guidance. Her annoyance grew because she would sit me down during training and ask, “What do you need to know?”

And my honest answer? “Ma’am, I’m brand new to commercial insurance. I have no idea what structure looks like, so please… you tell me.”

Each of those 20-minute sessions felt like wading through muddy trenches, frustrating, slow, and humbling. And yet, in those “agonizing” mornings, God was shaping patience, perseverance, and humility in me.

Following Through and God’s Provision

Instead of letting frustration win, I got strategic. I came in even earlier and said, “I’m working on this follow-up account.” By doing this, A and F stepped in to guide me, share their expertise, and patiently help me navigate the process.

My boss was a little more relaxed seeing me take initiative—but not by much. Still, God’s hand was evident: my success in those early days wasn’t because I figured it all out alone. It was because of the guidance, patience, and mercy of A and F, placed in my path at exactly the right time.

This moment reminded me that growth rarely happens in isolation. God often answers our prayers through people who quietly walk alongside us, even when the “official” authority seems distant or frustrated.

Colleague and Trainer Impact

In the trenches with A and F, my growth went far beyond learning processes or handling accounts—it was about growing in Christ. Their encouragement extended beyond the office, shaping both my professional skills and my spiritual life.

F often invited me to women’s Bible studies and Christian guest speaker events. One of the most memorable sessions was with Lisa Harper, who shared her journey of trusting God through relationships, struggles with self-image, and the longing to be a mother. Hearing her story of adoption—the answer to her prayers in God’s perfect timing—reminded me that God’s plans are always precise, even when life feels uncertain.

Another speaker, Hannah Brencher, encouraged us with her message “Come Matter Here,” which spoke to faith and depression, especially the experience of floating through life in your 20s. Her words helped me see that God notices every struggle and meets us exactly where we are. (Her book: Come Matter Here is annexcellent easy read!)

Then there was A, whose gentle mentorship left a lasting mark. A convert to Catholicism from a Baptist background, she taught me the beauty and depth of the Catholic Church, encouraging me to explore faith in new ways. Her wisdom, paired with my morning routines listening to Andy Stanley’s Sunday homilies, kept me spiritually fed—even if by noon, the energy and fire of the Spirit sometimes felt tapped out.

Through A and F, I learned that growth rarely happens in isolation. God uses people to teach, encourage, correct, and nourish our souls in ways that go far beyond the tasks we perform at work.

Correction I Didn’t Ask For

This boss wanted me to be aggressive with clients in commercial insurance sales. My method was relaxed, realistic, and rooted in proper coverage. Every time I thought I knew better, she knew better—and my nerves burned hot.

The Lord simply said, “She’s doing it because you are capable, and she is right.”

That correction landed heavy. Why did this know-it-all boss push me so hard? Why did it feel like God was on her side and not mine? The truth kept circling back to Proverbs 3:5–6.

My prideful annoyance sounded like this: she didn’t train me; someone from another team did. If she wanted me to succeed, why didn’t she educate me more?

God’s Answer Looked Nothing Like I Expected

What I didn’t realize at the time was that God was answering a prayer I had long forgotten:

“Lord, bring me to a place of employment that will grow me in You.”

In the trenches—training with others outside my department—God answered that prayer.

The kindness, softness, patience, and mercy of those who trained me shaped me in ways I didn’t expect. That was where my soul was nourished. That was humble-town insurance.

What I didn’t understand then, but do now, is that pruning is never comfortable. Jesus tells us plainly in John 15 that the Father is the gardener, and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes so it will bear more fruit. Pruning doesn’t mean removal. It means intentional cutting for growth. And in that season, it felt like God wasn’t answering my prayer—when in reality, He was tending to it.

Redefining the Word “Enemy”

An enemy is not always someone who opposes God. Sometimes, they only appear to be one. When someone openly confesses they love Jesus and declares Him as Lord, yet still causes friction, discomfort, or offense, it can feel confusing. In our human condition, resistance feels like attack. Correction feels personal.

But not every hard relationship is rooted in hostility.

Sometimes God places people before us not to harm us, but to prune us, stretch us, and grow us in ways we would never choose. These people may expose our pride, test our patience, and press against the parts of us still needing refinement. They are not enemies of our faith. They are instruments in our sanctification.

The enemy we think we are facing is often not a person at all, but our resistance to the work God is doing within us.

My friend Anna recently shared something that stayed with me: every time she says she doesn’t like someone, her Father’s reply, “what part of them reminds them of you? Come to terms with it.”

The terms I struggled to accept were these:

1. Expectations without direct training—but God had already provided the people who would teach me and nourish me with heavenly perspective.

2. I was critical because she saw my success and wanted credit for it without doing the work.

3. God revealed her humanity to me layer by layer.

   
   

   The layers : She is a sister who is also healing and a mother to 6 unbiological children and 1 natural born son.

   
   

   Product of church hurt: that has a Father that was a Baptist preacher and her parents are divorced too.

   
   

   She wasn’t a good teacher. But she was a cheerleader—even if it didn’t communicate well to my human nature.

God didn’t answer my prayer by removing me.

He answered it by reshaping me.

And sometimes the sister/brother we don’t choose is the very one God uses to change us.

Reflections:

1. Did you ever complain to God like Job?

   
   

   Job suffered greatly but remained faithful, and God allowed him to express everything on his heart. Take a moment to tell God everything about your frustrations, doubts, or disappointments—and then leave space for Him to respond.

2. Can you reflect on seasons of painful pruning in your life?

   
   

   When you’ve tried to run from difficulty, have you noticed the same challenges following you? Consider the truth in this saying: you can change your physical location, but if the drama follows, there is a reason—you are the common denominator. What is God trying to reveal or refine in you through these repeated seasons?

3. Who has God placed in your life as a mentor or guide?

   Think about people who challenge, correct, or encourage you. How has God used them to shape your character, skills, or faith—even when it was uncomfortable?

4. Have you encountered someone who felt like an enemy but was actually a tool for your growth?

5. How do you respond when God’s answers don’t match your expectations?

   
   

   Sometimes the answer is “wait,” “stay,” or “grow here,” instead of “go.” How can you trust His timing and His plan even when it feels frustrating or confusing?

Thank you for reading this heartfelt reflection/testimony.

Lord,

May you bless the reader with the eyes to see all of heaven, the ears to hear your voice only and the heart to receive the warmth it needs to shine the light of Jesus Christ, in Jesus unmatchless name, amen.

🌸 With Childlike Faith,

Connie Hill

Founder, God’s Toddler